Minimise Work-Life Conflict: There is no Balance

There is this elusive search for work-life balance ever since our society had progressed beyond the stage of uncertain survivability. As a species that does not stay satisfied, we set our sights for the next definition of better - not survive but thrive. Not working for a living, but working while having lived.

I am not sure when the term "work-life balance" came into mainstream discussion, but I know that when I was 16 years old, I began asking adults around me about the state of work-life balance in their lives. I've asked my teachers, colleagues and older friends. I also sought conversations with those seemingly succeeding in life - the entrepreneurs, CEOs, multi-hyphenates and more. I do this because I know that in time, I am to raise a family - and it seemed difficult but possible to provide for my family both financially and emotionally as well. I am lucky to be raised in one such family, so why should my own wife and kids not experience the same?

That acknowledgement of difficulty and responsibility pushed me to ask these seemingly personal questions to people of all walks of life. Perhaps they see that I am asking for help - a light shining on the path they took, and stories for me to ponder if I should do the same.

I have heard many of their regrets, particularly of how no amount of money is enough for fleeting time - when the relationships they hold most dear were sacrificed during their periods of ambition. One of the most memorable tales of caution to me was from a Senior Vice President of a hotel - children don't know the difference between quality and quantity time. They just know if you are there or not.

I have also heard examples of unbelievable resolve. How it is possible to have an ambitious life, though it takes a village to support that drive. Individual sacrifices are made, but the sum of it is worth the rewards of the collective joy that is ultimately shared. This was pointed out to me by a father with three kids and the fortune to have a wife and relatives that support him on his journey that sees him working almost every day for something he believes in while still maintaining a healthy and active relationship with his family.

It is the juxtaposition of such recounts that I've come to learn that the question "Have you achieved work-life balance?" seems poorly phrased. At the core of this question is the hope that what one does to make a living does not have a net negative impact on their life. A big factor of that would be time spent, but that is not the only metric, and perhaps for some individuals, that is not even the top metric.

As I pave my way to becoming a Documentary Storyteller, I stepped into the world of being a freelancer and an entrepreneur. Lines of work and life are ultimately dictated by me and my priorities. And to succeed is to work - a lot. Those of you reading this right now who are entrepreneurs or who have side-gigs can attest to this. Doing something you love does not mean that you do not work a day in your life - it means that you feel compelled to work even more because you enjoy it!

Yet despite this, I do not think that I am destined to fail in my original mission in life - the true source of my drive that pushes me to try and succeed. Because I realised that I am not seeking to achieve work-life balance. Instead, I am trying to mitigate work-life conflict. My current position, while keeping me busier than most, provides a vital advantage to do just that - control. Control on how I use my time and what I use it for. For a resource that is our most valuable as it only diminishes - that advantage is liberating when honed well.

If I am to succeed, I will be busy. But that should not imply that I am bound to neglect my family. I am still learning how to hone my control of the time that I have. Fortunately, my job also allows me to continue conversing and learning from people. This time, I'll ask them, "how do you mitigate work-life conflict".