A New Year in November
Photo Credit: Eunice Teo
There are exactly 40 days left in 2021 at the time of writing. It is still November, and yet traditionally this is the time of the year of major transitions for myself.
It was never intentional - in fact, if Facebook had not prompted me with their memory function, I would not have been enlightened by this pattern of working towards the end of each year.
Being awake in November
I find myself to be at the tail end of a major project or in preparation to a leap into one every November. Some notable mentions over the years include:
• 2017 - Post Production on Trespass: Stories from Singapore's Thieves Market and going to Vancouver, Canada for a semester exchange programme
• 2018 - Completed my first overseas commission in Norway with Young Sustainable Impact
• 2019 - Headed to the Philippines to work on the 29th SEA Games, a highlight of my time with Sport Singapore
• 2020 - Preparing to embark on my first forays into hosting and my television debut with On The Red Dot on Channel News Asia and Channel 5.
• 2021 - Having completed my first documentary series and embarking on a set of new documentaries that I consider to have real potential for critical acclaim.
Perhaps this pattern emerged from a latent belief that each new year deserves its own runway.
Taking a chance rather than leaving it to chance
A calendar may be a manmade construct, but it creates a seemingly predictable cycle that allows for strategy, so long as one is willing to embrace serendipity through one's journey.
I do not know what next year brings. And with each passing year, it actually scares me more. Because while I have enjoyed continued and increasing successes, I also perceive myself to have less time - especially now that I am near the end of a 10-year journey that started on 25 April 2013.
This pressure is more than self-induced.
A new year is also an unknown one
Two years from now is when I will move into my first home together with my wife, and we will want to have kids relatively soon after. Those are moments to look forward to and serve as a reminder that I am on the clock to run selfishly at full speed.
Others may work with passion, and while some of that fuels my drive, most of it stems from my innate responsibility as a husband and future father that I yearn to be good at.
I understand that success, no matter one's earnestness, will have an undefined time before it blooms. Earlier this year, I was enlightened by the concept of "trusting the process". It seems to be one of the many mechanics that people have created to be at peace with the actions and reactions of oneself and all relevant factors in one's journey.
I must confess that at times, I felt my last two years to have been a fluke - a coincidence of being at the right time and place. Do I give luck too much credit? Perhaps it is not productive to continue thinking about it.
Every November, because of the significance of it for my future, I spiral into such thoughts - an ironic mix of hope and despair, ambitions and procrastinations.
If this writing feels messy, that is because so is my mind.
Though I can take solace in another habit that I have noticed - that somewhere along the way, I would work it out.
Because my work matters and the people I work for matters.
I know that there are many who go through their own transition in a new year or a new phase. Whatever experience you might have, I would say this, "I hope to see you well on the other side."
